


Eternal Tails: Behind Your Eyes

by Pantalion



Series: Behind Your Eyes [2]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Depression, Family, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Helplessness, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25207891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantalion/pseuds/Pantalion
Summary: The fastest thing alive, and the fox that always managed to keep up. An unbreakable duo together against all the dangers of the world. But what kind of eight year old fights monsters every day? And what kind of big brother lets them? An introspective look at their relationship from Sonic's eyes, and the helplessness of trying to save someone you love from himself.
Relationships: Miles "Tails" Prower & Sonic the Hedgehog
Series: Behind Your Eyes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821340
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	Eternal Tails: Behind Your Eyes

I can jog around the world in six hours.

I can punch holes in mountains.

But I can't save you.

Even though you're sleeping on the couch next to me.

I know you haven't been taking care of yourself. You never do. When I'm not around you live off candy, work until you pass out at your desk.

But tonight was movie night. Movies always put you to sleep. I dunno if it's a boredom thing, even with war movies like this one, or if movies just chill you right out. But it works every time, like magic.

You twitch in your sleep, letting out a soft whimper as you dream. I put my book down and rest a hand on your head until you finally settle again. You've had these episodes as long as I've known you. Not every night, but often enough. Is that why you don't like to sleep?

But you never tell me. You never even hint there's something wrong. You never have.

How old were you when we met? We guessed eight at the time. Then we guessed eight again, four years later. But from the first time you started following me it's always been the same. You'd drop into a bed of spikes without blinking. You'd take a bullet and keep running. Even when I knew you didn't have any rings on you. And every time I asked you why, it was always the same thing: "I didn't want to slow you down, Sonic." And you'd smile.

Even when Eggman kidnapped you, you weren't scared. I've only ever seen you scared of lightning and ghosts, and back then you never even let that slow you down either. You were sad. You were worried that you were being a _nuisance_.

But you'd follow behind me and I'd be happy. Because you were amazing. I've got so many friends, but you were always the only one who wasn't too slow. You always kept up, fighting right next to me. We were the perfect team, the unbreakable duo. Before long I was taking you on almost every adventure. We took on the world together.

Eight year old kids shouldn't be fighting giant war machines, or racing to stop a nuke. But you did both. Stuff I'm not sure even I could survive, you charged into with a smile on your face, like it didn't matter. Like _you_ didn't matter. And you never, ever complained.

And me, idiot that I am, I never thought to stop you.

I was too proud of myself to stop and think about what I was doing. Too proud of my little bro to think about what was best for you. You were already saving me about as often as I saved you, maybe even more. There were times I know we'd have lost to Eggman if it hadn't been for your brain, but you never talked about that much either.

I'm not sure when things changed. Maybe when we met our time-shifted selves from the past and I realised how small you were? But when I noticed, I stopped letting you fight on the front lines as often, even if I couldn't bear - or _afford_ \- to let you go completely. And I could tell that keeping you safe hurt you more than all the spikes and bullets in the world.

But you never complained about that either. You just started working in your lab. Started pretending you _weren't_ fast or strong or brave anymore. And you smiled the whole time. It's like, as soon as you thought that was what I wanted, you changed without a second thought.

And then I almost lost you. Because I didn't trust you enough, even when you dedicated everything to me. Because I didn't stop to think. And when you came back, mutilated, roboticised, I was going to die there and then. Because there was no way I could ever bear to fight my little buddy.

Then you smiled. Right when I was losing everything and everyone else, you stuck by me. You saved the day by doing exactly what I'd thought you couldn't.

You stir again, bunching up into a ball. I again drop my book - already finished reading it anyway - and put my hand on your shoulder. But you flinch away from my touch, both tails lashing the air as you wake up.

And there, right at that moment, I can see a glimpse of the real you. Alone and afraid and lost and crying for help. I've seen it before, when you're distracted, when you think nobody's watching, but always when you wake up. When your shields are down, when your mask is off.

And then, quick as a blink, you smile. You sit up with a laugh, rubbing the back of your head.

"Sorry! Looks like I didn't make it again."

"No problem, little buddy." I grin back. "You wanna try another one, or you going to bed?"

With a yawn that reminds me how young you are, you decide to go to bed, hugging a tail as you stumble over to your room. And I settle down on your couch, turning off the light to lay in the dark, staring at the black screen of the TV.

Did _I_ do this to you? Are you dreaming of one of too many times I let you get hurt? Some terrible storm I wasn't there to comfort you? Or was it something from before we met? Were you bullied or hurt so badly that nothing else scared you ever since? And are you so desperate to be useful because you think I'd leave you if you weren't? That I'd send you back to that place somehow?

The fact you're hiding it hurts almost as much as the fact I can't solve it, but I can only blame myself. While I've always been able to trust you, have you ever really been able to trust me? Have I ever _really_ taken care of you? When your own parents left you, how could you believe the guy that's always running will stick around?

So I promise myself to visit sooner next time. To tell you again how great you are, how much I care about you, how I'll never leave you, how you can talk to me about _anything_ and that will never ever change. And I hope one day I'll tell you often enough, or in some perfect way, that you'll actually start believing it.

And that's all I can do. Like you're stuck out at sea. I can only stand on the shore, my arm outstretched, shouting encouragement while I watch you drown.

Because while you're screaming behind your eyes, you won't let me in to help.

…

I'm going for a run.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this alternative look at Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails the Fox.
> 
> Like Eternal Tails: In Your Shadow this was an experiment into second person, present tense story telling exploring the relationships between Sonic characters, this time looking from a point of view I don't usually cover - Sonic himself.
> 
> As always, I'd appreciate any thoughts you had on the story, good or bad, and I hope you enjoyed reading.


End file.
